I’d like to start this off by apologizing for my lack of posts. I’m here to update you on my life and give you that monthly dose of “Jan Positivity” that you didn’t know you needed until now. I’m completely open about my mental health because they are plenty of people who get uncomfortable talking about it and this is a topic that we all need to come to terms with. So, these last few months I’ve been experiencing an incredibly rough sophomore year. My depression controlled me almost completely and I constantly felt an overwhelming sadness but I didn’t know why. I smiled on the outside but on the inside I was learning how to deal with bullying, depression, and anxiety. I went to counseling but I didn’t feel like I was getting any better, I just felt like I cried every single day and questioned how I could have so many tears in my body. But I kept going to counseling and I kept trying to find things that made me happy and I kept trying to understand what was going on with me until I got out of the situations that made me feel awful. I’ve learned that I’m growing up and changing into the woman I want to be. I don’t have to have everything figured out right now or ever to be honest.
We’re just humans. Who says we have to have everything figured out by a certain age? Who says that we have to use the major that we went to college for? Who says that there are other people who are better than us? We are our own person and we decide what to do with our lives and who to be. I’ve been at the lowest point of my life for these last few months and I didn’t think I was going to be able to get out of it. But I pulled myself out and it taught me to put myself before anyone else. I’m stronger than I ever that I could be and I’ve been reminded that everything happens for a reason. You are stronger than you think you are. You are better than you think you are. Remember that you’re your biggest critic for literally no reason. Think about someone you admire and what they would say about you. They wouldn’t say the negative things you feed yourself every day. You can pull yourself out of the darkness, whatever it is. We are better than this. We are strong. We’re just humans. So, take a deep breath and remember everything you’re grateful for. Remember how beautiful you are. Remember how smart you are. Remember that you’re going to be okay because everything happens for a reason. Thanks for being here. We’re going to be absolutely fine. We’re powerful.